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#JZ25 is Sorry
Through the weeks, significant amounts of opposition has pushed back against the JZ25 campaign’s ideas. It is with a heavy heart that I admit today: I was wrong. After long and careful consideration I, Jack Zhong, leader of the JZ25 campaign, have decided, in the words of the heroic martyr Spencer Wang:
The juice simply is not worth the squeeze.
Over the past three weeks, controversial ideas that run contrary to my moral conscience and ethical interests have appeared in the posters, speeches, and memes of the JZ25 campaign. The thrills of contrarianism overran my basic duty as a global citizen to be a good human.
The truth is, there is no way to undo the pain caused by 30 posters filled with problematic, contrarian, and negative ideas, such as:
A red hashtag
And three diagonally aligned cats
Our redemption will start today with this apology. The posters and memes and speeches I gave were wrong then and are wrong now. To all the folx hurt by my past work, I am working to secure funding for repairs. At the top of the list is Mr. Koshi, who has made clear to me that I am un-presidential-like.
I at JZ25 have simply squeezed too much juice. I should have been a bystander to the vetoing of assembly announcements. I should have celebrated when the New Year Committee publicly shamed the Lunar New Year name and promoted a new, much more equitable version, Asian New Year. My decision to advocate for dialogue and transparency has brought nothing but shame and indignity to the sacred art of campaigning, which in the modern age has rightly elevated itself to the heights of moral purity.
I now stand firmly with Stevenson’s core values, with only “inclusion” left to be decided; I support school censorship. The Student Life Office has made clear that disagreement on campus affairs in any form cannot be included. The Student Life Office has made clear that stances of opposition, no matter how trivial, is unacceptable. The petition to open a door was simply too radical, and a public announcement on it has no place in the democracy we live in, thus must be vetoed.
From here on out, the page of the JZ25 campaign will only promote the brilliant insight and editorial rigor of official school-approved media. I pledge to encourage more progressive holiday rebrandings, with exciting contenders such as Christmas to:
European Present Day
and Easter to:
Christian Egg day.
I pledge that going forward, I will advocate for positivity like proper Stevenson students do, by shifting the focus away from potentially harmful discussions that everybody agrees on, to topics that only the Student Life Office likes. Truly, my standards pale in comparison to the heavyweights at the Student Life Office.
To all my past supporters, the JZ25 campaign you’ll find when you arrive on campus next week will be different from the one you were familiar with. I will start every speech with a disclaimer withstanding no opposition from the Student Life Office, and every topic will have at least one trigger warning per conjunction. Depending on how that goes, I may replace the speech format with an interpretive dance. After all, I would hate to be behind the times.
Inspired by: The Review is Sorry — The Stanford Review